Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
