my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
