I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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