I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
