ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
