she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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