I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
