strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
