omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
