What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
