Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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