The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
well you can't waste a boner
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
