I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
