Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
