sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
