TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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