Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
