Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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