Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
