uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You are the jesus of drinking
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
