"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
