Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
