I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
