Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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