Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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