I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
