kristin has been a bad kristin
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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