How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We got so high we made milksteak
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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