Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You can't special order awesome
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
