Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
