Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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