the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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