I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
