Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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