I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
