Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
