I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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