im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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