Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
