if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
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