respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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