When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
