Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
