just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
