Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
