I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
handjob tips. give me some.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
