dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
