ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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