My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
