Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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