so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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