gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
