Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
