She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
