"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
